Is He Really Interested or Just Playing the Game?
My little story may seem a bit slanted: a bad man taking advantage
of a young single mother. However, the following events could happen
to anyone who is lonely and overworked.
Let's begin with a short back story of a young woman who
innocently gave a player
the right tools to use against her better judgment. Our young woman wasn't
ready for the dating scene. She is a single mom with two little boys
under the age of three. Between working full time, housework, and
baby time until midnight, she had little time to think about men. Heck,
she barely had time to think. Yet, she was lonely. Lonely
women must send some sort of hormonal signal to those lying-in-wait. Because
he sure picked up on it.
The Player and Miss Lonely
Miss Lonely takes her little ones to a daycare where one of the
caregivers is a male (yes, introducing the player here). The buzz is
that he is getting married
in a month. So, she feels safe talking to him about almost everything. He
knows about her issues with her ex, problems with children, and her
frustrations at work. Because he is now her confidant, he's in a
great position to introduce more into their relationship. And he
does.
It begins innocently. He mentions the book, The
5 Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman and shares that previously he
presented workshops based on the tools set out in the book. Dr.
Chapman writes that everyone has, “a love language, a primary way of expressing
and interpreting love." Supposedly, we are drawn to others of
our kind. Sounds plausible, especially if you're a woman who is in
need of a hug, or more, from a male. He then asked her if she has
read the book.
You
must know where this is going. Right?
She has read it and of course, he wants to know what her
"love languages" are. Sigh. As it is true for
many women, her languages are "acts of service" and "physical
touch." So of course, in the following weeks he touches her arm
as he's speaking, he helps her find her little's boys' shoes (he always takes
them off), and he offers to fix her son's broken toys. Oh, what a
wonderful guy.
Five Languages Cheat Sheet
- Words of Affirmation
- Quality Time
- Receiving Gifts
- Acts of Service
- Physical Touch
But
wait! Isn't he supposed to be getting married soon?
And now we arrive at the present. Miss
Lonely is now a mess. She loves the attention. After all,
the most attention she receives is curious looks when she's wearing her son's
tossed food on her silk blouse. But she knows he's getting married. What
are his intentions? So, because she is a good person, she decides to
have "the talk." Beginning by thanking him for the
personal attention, she segues into telling him that they are getting too close
since he's marrying soon. At this, (brilliant) he kisses her hand
telling her that she has no reason to worry. OK, then.
Nowhere
to go but...where was it again?
Now, completely confused, our young single mother doesn't know
exactly what to do except babble incoherently. I must admit, I'm a
sucker for hand-kissing. But, after a talk with an expert, her
mother (my best friend), she has a new perspective. This guy is
playing the game. Run! A
person using a counseling tool to confuse a lonely overworked single mother is
not a nice person.
Please Read
How to Know
What Gifts to Give When Dating
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