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Relationship Advice for a Lonely Woman

Lonely woman

Is He Really Interested or Just Playing the Game?

My little story may seem a bit slanted: a bad man taking advantage of a young single mother.  However, the following events could happen to anyone who is lonely and overworked. 

Let's begin with a short back story of a young woman who innocently gave a player the right tools to use against her better judgment.  Our young woman wasn't ready for the dating scene.  She is a single mom with two little boys under the age of three.  Between working full time, housework, and baby time until midnight, she had little time to think about men.  Heck, she barely had time to think.  Yet, she was lonely.  Lonely women must send some sort of hormonal signal to those lying-in-wait.  Because he sure picked up on it. 

The Player and Miss Lonely

Miss Lonely takes her little ones to a daycare where one of the caregivers is a male (yes, introducing the player here).  The buzz is that he is getting married in a month.  So, she feels safe talking to him about almost everything.  He knows about her issues with her ex, problems with children, and her frustrations at work.  Because he is now her confidant, he's in a great position to introduce more into their relationship.  And he does.

It begins innocently.  He mentions the book, The 5 Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman and shares that previously he presented workshops based on the tools set out in the book.   Dr. Chapman writes that everyone has, “a love language, a primary way of expressing and interpreting love."  Supposedly, we are drawn to others of our kind.  Sounds plausible, especially if you're a woman who is in need of a hug, or more, from a male.  He then asked her if she has read the book. 

You must know where this is going.  Right?

She has read it and of course, he wants to know what her "love languages" are.  Sigh.  As it is true for many women, her languages are "acts of service" and "physical touch."  So of course, in the following weeks he touches her arm as he's speaking, he helps her find her little's boys' shoes (he always takes them off), and he offers to fix her son's broken toys.  Oh, what a wonderful guy. 

Five Languages Cheat Sheet

  • Words of Affirmation
  • Quality Time
  • Receiving Gifts
  • Acts of Service
  • Physical Touch

But wait!  Isn't he supposed to be getting married soon?

And now we arrive at the present.  Miss Lonely is now a mess.  She loves the attention.  After all, the most attention she receives is curious looks when she's wearing her son's tossed food on her silk blouse.  But she knows he's getting married.  What are his intentions?  So, because she is a good person, she decides to have "the talk."  Beginning by thanking him for the personal attention, she segues into telling him that they are getting too close since he's marrying soon.  At this, (brilliant) he kisses her hand telling her that she has no reason to worry.  OK, then. 

Nowhere to go but...where was it again?

Now, completely confused, our young single mother doesn't know exactly what to do except babble incoherently.  I must admit, I'm a sucker for hand-kissing.  But, after a talk with an expert, her mother (my best friend), she has a new perspective.  This guy is playing the game.  Run!  A person using a counseling tool to confuse a lonely overworked single mother is not a nice person. 

Please Read

How to Know What Gifts to Give When Dating

Five Rules for the Newly Retired Married Couple

Flirting 101: How to Flirt Effectively

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