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Flirting 101: How to Flirt Effectively

Get Your Best Flirting Foot Forward with These Tips!

As an etiquette teacher, I teach a variety of subjects, such as dating etiquette. So inevitably, when presenting any type of workshop, dating etiquette questions often arise.  Often these questions lean toward the flirting aspect of dating. 

Note: Please use these tips once it is safe to flirt, date, and get close to that one who’s making your heart flutter.

Surprisingly, these are valid questions and a perfect topic for those dabbling in the dating world.  After all, flirting is fun, playful and if done correctly, can add even more excitement in a chance encounter.  "Interested?" she asks as she winks and flips her hair.   

Flirting begins in the head.

Many times, we flirt with those we want to know better, so accept that this may not be a love connection.  No worries though.  You won't know until you make that connection.  Flirting helps make that initial first step, so have fun with it.    Additionally, focus on your emotions as you flirt.  Relay these emotions and thoughts as you flirt. 

It's all in the eyes...and smile! 

There is an old saying that the eyes are the window to the soul.  It is difficult to know for sure.  Yet, I am sure that eye contact can be an immensely powerful flirting tool.   Imagine this.  You look around a crowd-filled room to find a person who links eye contact for a lingering, breath-taking moment.  This person smiles and looks away – just for a moment – and then catches your eyes again.  Sexy. 

Since women tend to use these two tools best, listen up ladies.  As you approach your love interest, make eye contact and smile.  After passing him, or her, look back over your shoulder, make eye contact again, for just a second, and then continuing walking.  Still, the old-fashion wink may help sell the message.  You just may have left him/her breathless, but ready to give chase.

More specifically, eyebrows work too!

Consider how "Star Trek's" Mr. Spock uses his eyebrows. Without saying a word, we know what he is thinking. Now it isn't necessary to don his pointy ears but borrowing his expressive eyebrow action is a great flirting tool.  If sitting with your person of interest, use your eyebrows to help express your feelings.  Lift one slightly as you look into his or her eyes. 

Pucker up!

Do not miss the I-need-to-kiss-those-lips signals.   Most commonly, this is when his or her gaze keeps drifting down to the lips during a conversation.  Additionally, women can easily send this signal by slowly licking her lips and applying lipstick as he speaks.  Beware though; this technique has been known to cause confusion in men.  

Flip your hair. 

Flipping hair is a classic flirting maneuver equally effective for both genders.  Slowly pushing hair out of his face – while maintaining eye contact – is a perfect technique for a man.  Nevertheless, a woman can do just about anything with hers and turn heads. 

Touch just right.

A casual touch gets attention quickly.  First, lean in... slightly.  This body language yells, "I'm interested!" If the other person stays put and/or smiles, that is your signal to continue. If not, back off and move on.

Next, touch his/her hand.  Very intimate.  Likewise, lightly and playfully bump knees or elbows.  Ladies, touch his knee or slide your hand up and down his upper back briefly.  Finally, when it is time to say goodnight, linger over a closer-than-usual hug. 

Caveat: use only if the person is clearly interested.  Don’t invade an unwilling person’s personal space. 

Flirting Notes:

  • Exude confidence
  • Listen
  • Make good eye contact
  • Use positive body language
  • Touch carefully
  • Flip hair and lick lips

Enjoy!

Video credit: Weekend Update: Romantic Comedy Expert - Saturday Night Live on YouTube 

Please Read

How to Know What Gifts to Give When Dating

Five Rules for the Newly Retired Married Couple

Relationship Advice for a Lonely Woman


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