Gift Giving in the Dating World
Ah, new love...an amazing person is now in your life. You are enjoying every minute and are anxiously anticipating your next date.
As
excited as you are, it seems that new relationships are just one test after
another. Will he like my dad? Will my children like her? What makes her angry? Thankfully, those tests tend to sort themselves
out quickly in the relationship. However,
one test is a bit more ambiguous. At
what point in the relationship do we exchange gifts?
Gender-Sensitive?
Stereotypically,
women tend to be more gift-oriented than men are. Nevertheless, knowing this doesn't make it any
easier to choose the perfect gift for the woman he/she is just beginning to
know. This is true for her as well. Giving an expensive gift
too early in the relationship could appear as if she is trying to
"push" him into a more permanent relationship. So, what does the newly attached couple do
about the holidays? Birthdays?
Talk
and Listen
Significant
and ongoing communication is the main ingredient of a strong and healthy
relationship. That is not to say that
you would want to begin discussing gift giving on the first date. However, through genuine communication, which
includes listening – really listening – you learn more about each other
quickly. You learn what he/she likes and
dislikes.
Discuss
movies,
books, food, and activities. Everything
learned you can use for future gift-giving opportunities. For example, you found out that he loves
action movies, but hasn't seen the newest out in theaters or streaming. This is a
great gift for a newly nearly
committed couple—no pretense and it is not expensive.
Get
Out There and Have Fun!
Couples
learn more about each other while sharing activities
and experiences. Be observant. Notice if he or she truly enjoys each
activity. Does he really like art galleries or is he tagging along just to
please you? Does she really like playing
softball with your buds? If so, your new
love may need a new baseball glove—a no-pretense gift and does not have to be
expensive.
Discuss
shared activities and experiences afterward. Be honest if you did not like playing chess in
the park. However, if he does, a new
chess set just might be the best gift ever, especially if found at a flea
market or thrift store (in exceptionally good shape). It is a great gift, not expensive, no inference,
but thoughtful.
Bottom
Line
In
the end, it comes down to this: do you feel that the event is important enough
to give a gift? Do you want to give this
person a gift? If so, then do. Give a
gift that does not appear to connote commitment – nix the ring – and is not too
expensive. An expensive gift implies
commitment.
Alternately,
what if you feel that you would like to give something but feel that it is too
early in the relationship. After all, we
all have our own perceptions on this matter.
Why not do something nice and unexpected?
Actions
speak volumes. For example, it is her
birthday, and you know that she would like to celebrate but has a cold. Making her a pot of her favorite soup is a thoughtful
gift. With so many websites available to
teach you how to prepare it, it will be a breeze.
Give From the Heart
Whether you buy a gift or bestow a favor, the important thing is to recognize the new person in your life in a light-hearted manner. After all, this person is important enough to see more than once. Therefore, he/she is important enough to acknowledge with some sort of gift.
Please Read
Five Rules for the Newly Retired Married Couple
Flirting 101:
How to Flirt Effectively
Relationship
Advice for a Lonely Woman
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