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Showing posts from March 14, 2021

How to Know What Gifts to Give When Dating

Gift Giving in the Dating World Ah, new love...an amazing person is now in your life.   You are enjoying every minute and are anxiously anticipating your next date .   As excited as you are, it seems that new relationships are just one test after another.   Will he like my dad?   Will my children like her?   What makes her angry?   Thankfully, those tests tend to sort themselves out quickly in the relationship.   However, one test is a bit more ambiguous.    At what point in the relationship do we exchange gifts?   Gender-Sensitive? Stereotypically, women tend to be more gift-oriented than men are.   Nevertheless, knowing this doesn't make it any easier to choose the perfect gift for the woman he/she is just beginning to know.   This is true for her as well.   Giving an expensive gift too early in the relationship could appear as if she is trying to "push" him into a more permanent relationship.   So, what does the newly attached couple do about the holidays?   B

Women's History Month: Who is Elizabeth "Bessie" Coleman (1892-1926)

  First African American Pilot “The sky is the only place there is no prejudice. Up there, everyone is equal, everyone is free.” Elizabeth Coleman Born to African American and Native American sharecropper parents in 1892 Texas, Elizabeth, Bessie, fought for her chance to become an aviator. ( video ) In her twenties, she became interested in flying thanks to WW1 returning soldiers' heroic stories.    In a deeply segregated U.S., she could find no pilot to train her, even those who were black.   Her brother, newly returned from war, entertained her with stories of the many opportunities for women in France, one of which was pilot training.   As this seemed to be her only hope, she set her sights on France. Bessie began her journey by learning French.   Along with her savings and financial backing from the African-American community, she left for France in 1920.   By 1921, she accomplished her goal and became the first American woman who earned an International Pilot's Li

Public Swimming Pools Can be Deadly for Those With Autoimmune Diseases

Toxic Mix of Urine, Feces, Germs, and Parasites Await Swimmers Often profiled as funny, like in the movie " Grown Ups " with Adam Sandler and Chris Rock, urinating in the pool appears to be quite common in real life according to recent data .   Urine is bad enough, but just the tiniest bit of fecal material in a pool could cause illness and infections for pregnant women, the elderly, and young children.   Even worse, it could cause deadly results for those with compromised immune systems, like multiple sclerosis.   With the summer swim season arriving any day, it may be best to take an awfully close look at what is in that pool water.   This is especially for those of us who can be affected the most, which includes me.   Considering that I have multiple sclerosis, those germs could offer me a stay in the nearby hospital.   What is in the public pool water? Public pools offer a temporary reprieve from the summer heat.   However, a HuffPost article states that the

How Becoming a Caregiver for a Stroke Victim Can Change Your Life

Steps to Take to Become Caretaker for a Family Member Strokes can steal away a person's speech, mobility, and can chip away at his or her personality.   This, I now know because I became the primary caregiver for my mother-in-law.    In the beginning, it wasn't an easy decision. However, for me, it was a necessary one.   Pam, my mother- in-law , was a remarkable person deserving of the best care possible.   Consequently, my husband and I decided to do what was best for all of us.   My experiences may help those of you considering if caring for a family member may be the best decision for you as well.   Making the decision, will it be home or a facility. Pam nearly died from the severe stroke that left her in a coma.   The hospital didn't keep her long and suggested placing her in a nearby convalescent home.   Good advice since she was connected to IVs and tube-fed.   After a few months, Pam woke and her feeding tube was removed.   It was then, that we could enterta

Women’s History Month: Annie Bidwell (1839 – 1918)

A California Woman Who Fought for the Land and the Mechoopda Drive through Northern California and you will find a Bidwell street, park, or building in most cities.   Still, I doubt many actually know why the street bears the name.     In truth, the namesakes most probably honor John Bidwell , a California pioneer, politician, farmer, and philanthropist. Nevertheless, his wife, Annie, contributed quite a bit to our golden state of California as well.   Annie Bidwell’s Early Years Annie’s early years shaped her belief system and future.   She was born into an upper-middle-class family and raised in Washington D.C.   In her early teen years, she became a devout Presbyterian, leading her to devote her life to social issues, like conservation, women’s suffrage, and prohibition.   In fact, her many friends included Susan B. Anthony, Frances Willard, and John Muir.   Annie Marries and Begins Work on Her Passions While John was in Washington D.C. for political reasons, he met Annie

Women's History Month: Who is Helen Hunt Jackson 1831-1885

Poet, Writer, and Tireless Fighter for Native Americans “...greatest American woman poet." Ralph Waldo Emerson Best known as the writer of the 1884 novel, Ramona , Helen Hunt Jackson was also an outspoken human rights activist, focusing on Native American issues.   She fought using the written word beginning with the 1881 novel Century of Dishonor , in which she unveiled the wrongdoings of our government toward Native Americans.  It is still in print.   To every member of Congress, she gave a copy inscribed with, "Look upon your hands: they are stained with the blood of your relations."  Due to her plucky personality and intellect, Helen also collected many accomplished literary friends throughout her life beginning with Emily Dickenson in childhood and later with Ralph Waldo Emerson, and Oliver Wendell Holmes. The Why Behind Her Drive Helen experienced multiple tragedies in her life, including losing her mother at an early age, and later her husband and t

What I Want You to Know About Multiple Sclerosis

Living With a Mystery Disease In honor of National MS Education & Awareness Month. Here is a short personal story of my perspective about living with multiple sclerosis. Over two decades have passed and this disease is still a mystery.   Even doctors offer little insight, since the progression of multiple sclerosis is uncertain, illustrating how difficult MS is to understand.   Although there are standard symptoms, such as muscle weakness and stiffness, each person has his or her distinct experience. Increasing confusion for observers, many with MS appear healthy, as do I.   Thus, making it more difficult for others to understand how fatigued the MS inflicted often are.   Family, friends, and coworkers could help immensely if they could understand this one very thing: MS doesn't just disappear because we appear healthy.   Walking may not be an issue one day, while we require a wheelchair the next.   So, if we state that we are too tired, please understand. MS is a

How Multiple Sclerosis Helped me to be a Stronger, Better Person

A lovely workshop with extremely pleasant Alpha Phi sorority sisters Numbness and tingling in my hands caused many a doctor visit, but dizzy spells and violent nystagmus prompted the MRI.  The results came in the form of a phone call and my doctor's voice.  "MS? No. Really?  Will I be in a wheelchair soon?" Was all I could say at first.  Then I thanked the doctor for the call and reminded him to eat.  It was nearly 7pm.   Soon, I found, that for my type of MS , a chronic progressive type, there are no drugs available to slow the disease as for the more common relapsing-remittent.     My life as I knew it was over, or so I thought.   The Progression Well, no wheelchair for the first few years.   Yet, my legs were painfully stiff, and my left foot dropped, causing tripping; more than usual, I'm terribly clumsy .   Fatigue plagued me.   I just couldn't get used to this new dynamic: slowness, pain, and isolation.   My life as an elementary school teacher revo

Flirting 101: How to Flirt Effectively

Get Your Best Flirting Foot Forward with These Tips! As an etiquette teacher, I teach a variety of subjects, such as dating etiquette . So inevitably, when presenting any type of workshop, dating etiquette questions often arise.   Often these questions lean toward the flirting aspect of dating.   Note : Please use these tips once it is safe to flirt, date, and get close to that one who’s making your heart flutter. Surprisingly, these are valid questions and a perfect topic for those dabbling in the dating world.   After all, flirting is fun, playful and if done correctly, can add even more excitement in a chance encounter.   "Interested?" she asks as she winks and flips her hair.    Flirting begins in the head. Many times, we flirt with those we want to know better, so accept that this may not be a love connection.   No worries though.   You won't know until you make that connection.   Flirting helps make that initial first step, so have fun with it.     Addit